From Defense to Growth: Embracing Feedback to Improve Your Writing
As a writer, receiving feedback can sometimes feel like a confrontation – it’s a really personal thing, especially if you feel like you’ve given the writing EVERYTHING you have. The natural instinct is to become defensive—our work is a reflection of ourselves, after all. But what if we could shift our mindset from defense to growth? What if we saw feedback as an invaluable tool for improving our writing, rather than a judgment of our skills or worth?
I’m talking about this because for me, shifting my mindset and using feedback as a tool was a game-changer. It improved my writing when writing my own stuff, but also helped me as I grew my ghostwriting and coaching career. The key to transforming the way we receive critique lies in how we perceive it. Instead of taking it personally, we can view it as a step in our creative evolution. By developing emotional resilience and adopting a growth mindset, we open the door to valuable insights that will help us grow as writers and professionals.
1. Reframe Your Thinking: Critique Is Not an Attack
The first step in embracing feedback is shifting our mindset to see critique not as a personal attack but as a chance for growth. The truth is, every writer, no matter how experienced, can benefit from an outside perspective. When we reframe feedback as an opportunity to improve rather than a threat, it becomes less intimidating. Consider feedback as an outsider’s fresh perspective on your work that can highlight areas you may not have noticed yourself. This mindset shift enables you to detach your ego from your writing, making the process of receiving critique much less emotionally charged. You don’t like everything you read, right? Then it seems a little naive to expect everyone else to like your writing, although, at times, you do get hurtful or nasty comments when you put your work out there. Just filter the valuable stuff out and if you feel there are invaluable comments, disregard them. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
2. Listen Actively and Ask Questions
When feedback is given, it’s essential to listen actively and engage with it. Instead of defensively countering or immediately justifying your choices, try to understand the reasoning behind the critique. Ask questions to gain clarity on how you can improve. For example, “Could you give me an example of what you mean by…” or “How do you think I could strengthen this part?” This approach not only shows that you value the feedback but also helps you digest it in a way that leads to actionable change.
3. Focus on Specifics, Not Emotions
It’s easy to get lost in the emotional response to feedback. When critique feels harsh or discouraging, it’s tempting to focus on how it makes us feel rather than on the substance of the feedback itself. However, the best way to use feedback productively is to focus on the specifics. What part of the work needs improvement? Is it the structure, clarity, or tone? Identify the areas that need attention and take action to revise them. By honing in on these details, we separate our personal feelings from the task at hand and approach it with a constructive mindset.
4. Build Emotional Resilience
Developing resilience is key to handling critique without feeling discouraged. Emotional resilience doesn’t mean ignoring or suppressing your feelings; it’s about acknowledging your initial reaction and then choosing to move forward with a positive, growth-oriented attitude. By acknowledging that critique is part of the journey and a necessary tool for growth, you can begin to embrace it with more confidence and grace. Over time, receiving feedback will become less daunting, and you’ll find it easier to see the constructive elements of any criticism.
5. Make Feedback Your Friend
The most successful writers are those who view feedback as a trusted ally rather than an adversary. They understand that critique is not about failure, but about discovering ways to improve and refine their craft. By adopting a mindset of continuous improvement and remaining open to feedback, we allow ourselves to evolve as writers. Remember that every piece of critique, no matter how small, is a stepping stone on your path to mastery.
Embrace Growth Through Critique
Rather than viewing feedback as a threat, start seeing it as the powerful tool it is. By shifting from defense to growth, listening actively, focusing on specifics, and building emotional resilience, you can harness the power of critique to elevate your writing to new heights. Every piece of feedback brings you one step closer to becoming the writer you aspire to be.
The road to growth may not always be easy, but embracing critique will undoubtedly make you a stronger, more skilled writer. Remember: it’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about becoming better, one piece of feedback at a time.
Much love, Janet XOXO
