A Writer’s Guide to Confidence: How to Go From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion
If you’ve ever sat down to write and immediately found yourself flooded with self-doubt, you’re not alone. This happened to me for such a long time. I did course after course, completed qualification after qualification, and took part in various training that was writing related and I still felt like a fraud. I NEVER had that confidence. I realise now that writers of all levels struggle with the inner critic – that nagging voice that tells us our work isn’t good enough, that we’ll never live up to our expectations, or that we don’t have anything valuable to say. Trust me when I say this is complete and utter B*LLSH*T!!!
I got to a point when I really started to think… Why do I have all this knowledge, qualifications, and successes, and yet, still don’t feel good enough? When I got to the root of the problem I realised my mindset was all wrong. I had so many skills and so much experience, I just didn’t have the confidence and belief to shout about it. I thought “oh well, I’m just not that kind of person.” and I could’ve easily given up because I couldn’t change who I was, right?
WRONG! When I dove deeper into the idea of confidence and self-doubt, I discovered that I’d never really truly understood what confidence and self-belief actually meant.
Here’s the truth: Confidence and self-doubt in writing isn’t something you either have or you don’t. It’s a mindset you can cultivate. And often, the journey from self-criticism to self-compassion is the key to unlocking that confidence.
In this guide, I’m sharing some practical steps to shift your mindset, quiet your inner critic, and start believing in your writing abilities. So next time you don’t believe in yourself, you can kick your own butt and flip the tables!
1. Recognise the Inner Critic—and Call It Out
The first step to overcoming self-criticism is recognising when it’s happening. For many writers, self-criticism manifests as perfectionism or fear of judgment. This voice says things like, “This isn’t good enough,” or “Who do you think you are to write about this?”
It’s important to acknowledge that these thoughts are part of the process, not a reflection of your worth or talent. When you catch yourself being overly critical, take a moment to pause and call it out. Say, “I hear you, but I’m going to keep writing anyway.” By separating yourself from the critic, you create room to continue without getting stuck.
2. Shift From Perfectionism to Progress
One of the biggest obstacles to confident writing is the pressure to be perfect. I got news for you – nobody is perfect! We often expect our first drafts to be polished masterpieces, which sets us up for frustration and failure. The truth is, that writing is a process of iteration. Your first draft is simply the first step in refining your ideas.
Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on progress. Celebrate small wins, like completing a chapter, writing for a set amount of time, or even just brainstorming new ideas. By shifting your focus to progress, you’ll build momentum and confidence with every step.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Just in case you don’t know this already, you’re too hard on yourself! Self-compassion is at the heart of building confidence as a writer. This means treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend who is struggling. When you make a mistake or face a tough writing day, instead of berating yourself, try saying, “It’s okay. Writing is hard sometimes, and I’m doing my best.”
Self-compassion allows you to move forward, rather than getting stuck in feelings of inadequacy. It also opens the door to experimentation and creativity because you no longer fear failure.
4. Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself
The stories we tell ourselves about who we are as writers can either empower or hinder us. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not a “real” writer or that you’ll never be good enough, it’s time to rewrite that narrative. This is something I had to personally work on because I was a writer, I was getting paid to write, and yet, I couldn’t admit that I was a real writer. When people asked me what I did, I told them “I kind of write for people.” I mean, come on, how do ‘kind of’ write for people – you either do or you don’t!
Start by identifying the negative beliefs you hold about your writing. Then, challenge those beliefs. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’m not experienced enough to write this,” counter that with evidence of your growth and past successes. Write new affirmations that reinforce your worth as a writer: “I am capable of learning and improving. My voice matters.”
5. Surround Yourself With Support
Finally, one of the most powerful ways to build confidence is to surround yourself with a supportive writing community. Whether that’s through online groups, writing workshops, or trusted writing partners, having people who encourage you and offer constructive feedback can make a world of difference. Now, this is a tricky one because I’m not saying you’ll never be told you can improve a piece of writing – getting some developmental feedback can be great. But you have to make sure this doesn’t impact your confidence and self-belief. Be at peace with receiving feedback, get it from people you trust, and remember, not to take it personally – spin it into a positive.
Remember, writing doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. Lean on others for support, and you’ll find that your confidence grows with the encouragement of those around you.
From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion
Building confidence as a writer is a process, one that requires patience, self-awareness, and kindness. By recognising and challenging your inner critic, embracing progress over perfection, and practicing self-compassion, you can transform the way you view yourself and your writing.
So next time you sit down at your desk and feel the weight of self-doubt creeping in, remind yourself: You are a writer. You are capable. And you deserve to tell your story.
Lots of love, Janet XOXO
